the brain rodgerrs conection

helo today we dun a BANANURE HUNT it was grate fun a bit like going to BOGNER REEJUS on a MEATY DAY exept not quite

we dun a foto befor we went her is a picher of me an my brothures an sista baby DAISY she is sat on baby RUMPSs shoulder rite by baby PONGO

note that we hav our BEEGLING KITTS with us and speshal BANANURE TONGS except for baby PONGO who has speshal instroomewnts for CABBIDGE HUNTING
wile we wer out we seen a cloud it looked like BRAIN BLESSIDS he is grate his beard is a bit like baby COCONUTs beard thats baby COCONUT laysing on the left on baby PONGOs hed

PEE ESS can you spots a GOOSE in the picher? ill giv you a clu ther isnt one but ther is some CUSTARDS

here we are now entertane us

as promissed here is a blog i done about wot the good things in AMERICKER are cos i think i mite hav been a litle harsh erlier so here is a blog espeshuly for ANNONERMOUSE who lives in americker with guns cars and RUBERT DE NEHRU

oh yes it also contanes a list and as you kno lists are what go in blogs

1. DOLY PATRON gosh shes grate she done that song joleen joleen joleen joleen im begin of you plese dont eat my ham i like her a lot ive got all her reckords and a picher of her on my skoolbag it says I HART DOLY yay yay




2. RHESUS PEACES these are choclity lumps with PEANUT in them ho ho ho not me but the food thats called a peanut its named after me cos i am grate acherly the peanut is a leggume not a nup so there i will tel that to ANN ROBESON and her ginjer frightwig thatll teech her to say the welsh are rubish

3. KENY LOGINS hes grate but be careful cos hes on the HIWAY TO THE DANJER ZONE with his speshal beard made of leaf mould anyway hes not to be confused with his evel twin KENY LOGOUTS who works as a drain salesman in IDERHO thats a place in americker

4. THE BOSTIN TEE PARTY its bostin mate anyway wot hapened was orl the honest injuns got on the boats and stuck it to the british by throwings orl the tea in the cheserpeek bay or something cos they wanted to be free from the yolk of impeeryul opreshun i think then they had a cake

5. WILIAM SHATNER hes the best at actin he can do TEE JAY HOOKER and CATPIN JAMES TEE KURK at the same time now thats versertillity and he also done a song where he just torks



6. YELLERSTON PARK wow thats a big plase full of animules and birdies and frogs and goose id like to go there and see the BYSON they are good at jumpin


7. ROSCO HOLCOM hes the best banjer player ever even tho he sounds like LUSHANO PAVAROTI at 78 ARR PEE EM he does things like appalashian porch musick creek river quickstep and cumberland sosige gap



8. MOCKERSINS these are litle shuz for yore feet they are made of MOCKER wich grows on a bush underground in OSTIN TEXAS home of chips and dust they are v cheep an you can get them off EEBY for a doler



9. BARES aw look bares are grate they go in trees lookin for hunny and toast their fav thing is the SPESHAL XTENDED DVD DIRECTURES CUT WIDESCREN of FALCON CREST the gratest documentry in the histry of fillum except that one about jam



10. THER GRAN CANYON its a big hole in the ground made by the COLLERARDO RIVER on its day off you can go in it in a bote or a helycoptur an JASON ROBBARDS and CHARLES BRONSEN live there

11. MANIMERL wot a strange person he is sumtimes his hands go big then he terns into a HEDGHOGG or an ANT basickly he can tern into anything xcept a teacup cos thats silly his reel name is SIMEN MAKORKINDYLE but he woodnt like you to know that i only kno cos i read it on the back of the COCO POPS packet

12. CATKCUS a big spiky plant that lives in the dessert with CLORDIA CARDINALY and her rubish acting accherly they can grow quite big almost as big as a NISSAN SUNNY and somtimes biger




anyway now its time for tea so i gots to go and wosh my fase ANNONERMOUSE i hop you likeds my tribyoot to the nice things in americker woo yay

aa motering atlas 1975

well yesterdy the blog i done was a bit ranty but it was things that needed to be said

reely i shud have aded to it in NUMBER ONE a law on tofs that the only thing worss than tofs is peple that want to be tofs i mean shorely they cud have otha aspirashuns like self diskoverey like wen RINGO STAR and JORGE HARISON FORD went to india and came back with speshal beerds and playing the seetar its like a geetar but you sit downs to play it they got tort it by the MAHARISHIBISH MACHRIHANISH YOGI he looks like jermain greer in a wig

anyway todays blog wil not be about tofs it wil be about my top ten countrys in the wold cos all blogs need lists and parergraphs aparently

1. MONGORLIA this is wher peple live in tents yurts gers burrs and tofts and for a living they drink old milk and go on documentrys about MONGORLIA wich is lucky cos thats where they live

anyway its top nashun cos nobodys bommed it for oil and bin Lardern and its nices cos its not full of tofs chavs idjits and mel gibsun (see blog i done yesterdy)

2. BORNYO thats where orangletangles live like my brothure pongo he likes fluffy time best of all and cabbage babage and grubbage

3. YOOGANDER this is where gorillures come from exept the ones that come from park st in a bots now ive herd a rumer that yoogander is the gerkin capiterl of the werld so thats ok then brian


4. BOLIVIAR thats where arnty happy mondays lives shes grate and when i next see her i wil give her sum cake cos thats her faverite along with smal things in pots and creams and ladys things

5. WHALES theyve got some grate words like DIM BINIO and YNYSYBL and SNWKWR and its got mountens and lakes and munkles like anywhere else but with no vowls in cos thats more fun

6. SCOPLAND my mumbly thinks scoplands nashunal culler is BROWN but personly i like brown cos i am brown mostly but i dont like gorden brown and his abacus truble he wont be prime ministure like PRESIDENT BLAIRS cos hes not as slimy he just looks like a lump of coal with a plastic face stuck on

7. ICELAND well i kno ther are no trees but theres hot springs and elves piksys and elermental beings and also they do by one get one free on jaffer cakes in the iceland embasy in the queensmeer

8. AMERICKER ha ha only joking americker is rubish its like a giant dustbin ful of manky old tat no wonder mel gibsun lives ther thats just his scene

reel number 8. ANTARCTICKER cor lummocks its cold there an thats where BOB CARELGEES* lives tho i dunno how he goes to tha shops and stuf cos theres no shops thers just snow and snowmen and HOTH WAMPA

9. GERMUNY is very nice but sumtimes it rains a lot a bit like chalvey but unkle jorgy lives there and his giant colecshun of dessert boots jerycans camo gere jeeps and stuff for wen he jons the germun forren leejun

10. BATMAN DENTAL CLINICK i no its not reely a country but i saw it on a map i wonder wot its like mebbe its brown like scopland or cold like iceland orltho i hav a suspishern its red with lelow stripes like a roobarb and custerd sweet but not a furry one from inside the sofa


so ther you hav it those are the top ten countrys now i am goin on the PETE SEEGER MEGGERDRIVE to play RISE OF ROBOT RYAN GIGGS


* if yore stuck for eester presents for granma i sugest BOB CARELGEES CANDLES

laws i wil do

wen i am presidents of ther republick and TONY BLAIRS has got the sack an has to live in a home with mouldy pants and no fun i will DO LAWS for the goods of the country

theses laws shull be as folows



NUMBER ONE a law on tofs

there shull be no tofs all peple who are tofs will go to goolags where they will be forsed to wotch LORAINE KELLY all day and DES and MELL all nite until they stop bein tofs then they will be reherbilitilated in jars



NUMBER TWO a law on chavs

all chavs will be sent to a plase where they wil watch CASH IN THE ATIC until the chek falls off their fake BERBERY CAPS then they will only be let bak into sosiety when they have done corecshunal instrucshun* at granmas house


NUMBER THREE a law on JERMY CLARKSBUM

he will not be givn cake or biskits an sertanly not given bananures and he will have to DO AMMENDS for his continueral infracshuns and insults to ther people of IRMINGBHAM



NUMBER FORE a law on TONY BLAIRS

im reely loking forwerds to this one what will happen is TONY BLAIRS wil get a rite comeupance at the hands of yoda paul danyels lionel richtea and elennor bron they will all go round number ten** and BIFF HIM RITE UP then he wil have to go and say sorry to everyone in his pants


NUMBER FIVE a law on peple who DROP LITER

this one get rite up my nobes i will do a law on LITERBUGS they will haves to eat all their liter mixed up with POT NODLE to make it tast truely nastys then wen they do a sick the EN AYCH ESS wont help them insted theyll get extrer punishalements by being forsed to eat FRAY BENTOSS cold pie out of the bin***


NUMBER SICKS a law on shouty british peple abrord

peple who go abrord and then shout OI PEDRO GIVE US SUM FISH AN CHIPS MATE will get laws done on them cos thats rood and thortless they shud lerns the langwidge cos its intrestin then they can say OIGA PESCADO Y CHIPS PORE FAVOR COMPANYERO an feel proud they they lernt somthing useful that wasnt how to steel cars and if they want to knows how to do it they can reed LERN SPANISH THE MARQUEZ WAY by gabreal garseer markez and spenser


NUMBER SEAVEN a law on MICK HUKNERL

hes just an idiot i will banish him to americker where its so great even stupid peple live there



NUMBER EIGHT a law on MELL GIBSUN

god hes a dimwit he reely hates everyone well i tell you what mel yore hair is the worst ive ever seen its like the infected muck in the botume of the compost bin so therfor you will get a law done on you wich means NO MEL GIBSUN for ever there will be nashernal NO MEL GIBSUN DAY wich will last all year for ever


NUMBER NINE a law on peple who dont like BODGER AN BADGER

cos reely lets face it its the best thing on TEE VEE nowerdays i wotch it all ther time it gives me idears



NUMBER TEN a speshal law for arnty happy mondays

this wil means that we can go to BOLIVIAR in a speshal supersonick travule thing we can gets there reely fast and bring a TOPICK with us for my arnty we will get there in time for NEYBOURS or NEIBÓROS as they corl it in boliviar



HEREBYE have i decreed these are the laws i will do and no man hath the rite to put them asunder nor to confirm or deny plese tick the box deleet as aplickerble thankyou


* this wil be makin a tea and geting things from the garding and findin the spare gin an goin to MORRERSONS supamarket to get the heviest taters nown to man

** number ten dont make me laugh number nort more like

*** com off it whos ever done that volentaruly

here i am with my ham

i didnt done a blog yesteday cos i was out looking inside dewdrops for laidybirds but that gave me the chanse to thinks about RITE and RONG and as we saw preeveiusly in chapter sixtyten verse eighty throo of how to write a blogs all blogs shud have lists mostly going up to ten but these go up to elevn like spinal pat

how to do A RONG:

1. be TONY BLAIRS and make all yore mates lords for giving a fiver to the laber party

2. eat all the rices out of the cubberd then not say it was the last one

3. not do the woshing up an play GRAN THEEF ORTHO insted then pretend you wer on the fone to granny all that time so you couldnt do the woshing up oh no honest

4. eat a topic on the way bak from the shop

5. be JORGE BUSH the man who boms places to make them as good as americker with mcdoonalds and jimmy starbucks golf an coffee emporeum

6. bring DIRTS in on yore shuz an pretend it was a goose wot done it

7. be JOHN PRESCOT an punch peple then get a lift to the end of the street in yore two cars what penshaners paid for with their winter fool alowance

8. leave the suger pufs open so they go all soft like a softs cushionb made of sweets

9. pretend you didnt have any brekfuss an try to get another one by mewking plainetivly even tho yore dish is full of yesterdys biskits

10. do a sick on the best bedspred from tk mcmaxx

11. giv all dadlys secrets away by riting blogs about wot he done rong

nb ill leve it up to you to deside wich is THE WERST OF ALL RONGS ill give you a clue its TONY BLAIRS and his serveylance nashun where everyone is on camera an their DEE EN AY belongs to the goverment so the goverment can blame OTHER PEPLE for all their crimes like margrit beckets face


and now things wich are RITE this is much easyer and good for yore bluds preshure cos you get to think about flowures and bees in the sky

1. standin up to fite TONY BLAIRS seedy goverment and its noddy laws for morons

2. flowures

3. buyin flowures for mumbly

4. jumping but not too much cos you might dent yore feets (i wear sots to stop that hapning)

5. pear sparkle (see the blog i done the otha day)

6. doing a sick in the toilat an not on the bedspred from tk mcmaxx

7. not doin too much clawbing

8. cheb foddel and his lovly singin

9. the sky espeshaly when birdies are in it (see the blog i done about BIRDIES)

10. my baggies badge boing boing

11. most other things wich further the corrs of the emansiperlation of the proletary hat

now i hope you will take my advises and avoid things wich are rong and do the things wich are rite be careful now cos some of them are borderline like that one about the figs an im sory to make you think of margrit beckets face now go and wosh yore eyes

children of the reverlushun

i was in the bedroom erlier and aparently there is a big bots there corled an OTOMAN wich my mumbly keeps boots and things in

i orlways thort an OTOMAN was a big empire run by SUPERMAN THE MUNIFICENT in three thirty AD or something then there wos a big reverlushun and all the yung terks got in power and establishd an interlectual nashnerlist eleet so they could go on a bus without any hasle and look at pichers of carol vordeman in peace

hello and thankyou to ANNONERMOUS who done a comment saying i was nice, here speshaly for you is a picher of me with my brothure his name is baby LUMPS we are dicusing the relitive merits of five bananures (the yello things in the midle) as compared to a smorler amount of bananures e.g. NONE we think five bananures are better thankyou

baby LUMPS has his own infornet page with where he done books as you can see he tort me all my gramer and puncheration there wasnt much of that its just dots

today i nearly got bort som new shuz but not blue swayd ones like elvis parsley

now its time for PEAR SPARKLE the ingreedy ents of wich are pares sparkle and magick here is a picher of it an me an LUMPS again

ps. LOVELY by sara jesica parker shes not lovly at all she shud have corled it STINKBAT

pps. after sara jesica parkers perfume advert there was one for sneaking to TONY BLAIRS about any bisnesses not registered for tacks

well i saw a dogs bisness on the pavment i will send it to TONY BLAIRS and say look its not registurd its another sorts of turd ho ho ho i bet he wont find that funny cos he only laffs at his own face in the mirror before he realises its actcherly him

in case yore wondring

yes i am dressed as a jedi in the picher but i dont do any fitin with garth vader look at him hes made of licoriss

aparently all blogs shud have a list* well i tell you this is already a list its of the words in this sentense and in the corect ordure too and no mistake

todays scanderl is PRESIDENT TONY BLAIRS MONEY some blokes gave him so they cud sit on seats and do laws in wigs like judge jeffreys with two fs jeffreys now tony blairs wont resign cos he thinks hes god st george england and harry like henry vee and look what happened to him**

if i was a lord id give tony blairs a punch then run away larfing exept i am a pasifist but ive herd john prescot is good at punches so he can give tony blairs one then punch himself for good mesure

so tony blairs has got all this money from peple and hes going to spend it on rubish like idiot cards and boms for iraq and going to tuskerny with his flagrant wife

she should get divorsed and marry that squeeky comedian then shed be CHERIE BLAIRS-PASQUAL*** see wot i did there ho ho ho thats funnier than a wasp on a bike

now i am going to tidy the garding with a speshal instrumlent


*like a chopin liszt ha ha ha katie boyle ha ha ha
**he was killed to deth by murder
***now whats the proberbility of that

BIRDIES

usuerly in tha mornings i like to spends a little time looking at the outside thro the window

out of ther window you can normally see BIRDIES

here is a list of the birdies that come in the garding to eat froops and go on the bird tabel

• blacksbird
• robbin
• greensfinch
• cole tit
• blue tit
• josef starling
• wood pijen
• normal pijen sumtimes
• blackcap
• dov
• goose
• terrordactal
• dafferdil
• chafinch
• magpie
• grate tit

yesterday koshka done a sick i didnt mention that cos its nothing to do with trostky unless he once dun a hairy sick on his bed.

now its time for brekfuss

today we dun it

today me an my brothure cort some fog in a bots

but apparently fogs not made of cheebes, nups or bananures

so we lets it go

tomorrow we will go and visits trotskys grave an bring him some chips

pore old trotsky he had enormous hair like as if he had an extra hair and then a hat wich looked like hair as well. he looked a bit like dandy dan you know the one off bugseye malone exept not with a mustash. infact he also looked like mary denarnud no wonder he was a commernist with all that trouble. trotsky died of ice pops thats what they call drinks in rusher.

he rote a book about his life corled MY LIFE just in case anyone forgots what it was about wile they were reeding it* he did another vershun called MY WIFE which was about his wife but it wasnt as long cos it was all about sowing and kittunes and girly things like potato and byenomeal regreshun and how to gets a carrot out of the chiller tray

*never mind the words reed the pichers i say