crab pickle daily

YES its me

i bet you carnt gess where ive been for so long well ill tell you ive been exackly knowhere but while i was there i done orl sorts of THINKIN

i speshaly have bin thinkin about ritin a BOKE wich is esy its just a long list of words etck

but then i had truble with the title so i dun a survey of myself and these are the titles i cam up with and a smorl sinopsis of wots in it


THE ARTHOORIAN BEETROTE

this is a popler sciense boke its about how the betrote was invented by KING ARTHER and his table then its the histry of it after that its intersting if you like veg


THE COSMICK PINCUSHERN OF LEN IBIS

len ibis is a time travler he gets about by presing pins in his pincushon he goes to the BATLE OF AGINCORE and PURL ARBOUR and OSWALD MOSLEYS TAILOR then comes back for his tea


HOW TO MAKE A FIG

this is a manuel of figmaking thats it reely mind you theres lots of pichers


ORTHERBIOGRAFY OF HELEN DANIELS

its the biogrerphfy of UN sercrertry generule HELEN DANIELS the sucesor to DAN HAMMERSCOLD whose gone off to join the circus she likes to say how she saved the wold from the wisdom of fools and other importernt homilys


TEST MATSCH SPESHAL

its a short histry of SOTH AFRICKER during the RUSHAN REVERLUSHUN of 1804 its almost as long as WOR AND PEAS the boke that never ends it just goes to the begining again thats the trouble with LENARD TOYSTOOL and his cyclickal epicks


HUMATO

this is a sciense fickshun about a half man half potato who lives in orkny i think it might be like a comick like COMARNDO or WIZZER AN CHIPS or JOHN GRISHERM praps hell be a superhero like JENY AGUTTER the orstralian nudist


A LORRY ON RUTLAND WORTURE

is a MUDER MISTRY SUSPENCE like PATRISHER CORNWALL the loony riter but this ones about a misterious murder that causes suspence for evryone in rutland worture they find a boddy in SAFEWAYS in the freezer by the LINDER MCARTNY SOSAGES and foul play is suspected by local detetive MAUD HOBSBAWM


JOHN WESLEY WAS A KETLEMAN

this is an ackerdemic histry of JON WESLY the famus metherdist wetherman who lived in a speshal house with no windose so he couldnt be tempted by ORDRY HEPBERN who kept singin outside like a waify siren


A BOKE ABOUT FROOPS

its a picher book feechering BANANURES mostly


DAIRY OF SIMON TEMPLER*

wow its about the templers nobodys written about them before in fact im surprised there isnt a boke called NODDY AND THE TEMPLERS by ENOCH BLYTON


HALF OF JEFREY ARCHERS PANTS

this is the seekwal to the first half of jefrey archers pants wich is almost just about as interesting mind you it feechers SIGERNY WEEVER as LENNY REFERSTAL



so you see the predickerment i am curently in but one of my mor pressing conserns is how to get my boke at the top of GOGLE SERCH wich is like the top ten pop charts of things on the intornet if anyones got any idears send them to INSTITUTE FOR COTTON 3 MAVIS AVENUE NORTH LANCASHIRE BELGIUM


* later i found out it had orlready bin writen by guffy liar DAD BROWN